Ahojte maminky i (zatim) nemaminky,
Uz nekolik dnu se chystam napsat novy denicek, ale vite, ze tu mam momentalne na navsteve meho tatinka, takze casu moc nezbyva a v te chvilce, kterou mam volnou, eMimino zrovna delalo problemy, takze se k tomu dostavam az ted.
Dneska se nepoustim do zadnych svych uvah nebo myslenek, ale chtela jsem jen
upozornit na jeden problem. Ziji v USA a tento tyden (16. - 22.4.) zde probiha
„Tyden Syndromu Treseneho Ditete“. Urcite jste vsechny o tomto syndromu
slysely, zvlast tady v USA, kde pri registraci do porodnice musite podepsat
papir, ze vam bylo vysvetleno o co se jedna. Nicmene, pro ty, ktere o tomto
syndromu nemaji moc informaci, pridavam odkaz na stranky, protoze jejich
kopirovani by bylo moc dlouhe.
Jsem clenkou jeste jednoho fora, kde jedna maminka zazila to, na co ani jedna
z nas nechceme pomyslet. Nevedela, zda jeji holcicka nasledky treseni prezije.
Tady je jeji vypraveni. Bohuzel je v anglictine, ale kdybyste potrebovaly neco
prelozit nebo vysvetlit, tak rada pomuzu. Vim, ze nas denicek obcas ctou
i maminky, ktere neziji v zahranici anebo mluvi jinou reci nez
" Madilynn Belle was born on July 4, 2003. We were a young family as I was
only 21 as was her father. Beau and I had been married only a few months
before her birth. We were married on March 27th 2003. A shot gun wedding
I guess. It became necessary for me to return to work son after Madilynn was
born. She was only 5 weeks old when I went back. I worked the evening shift
at a hotel - 3-11pm. Beau worked nights at a store (2am to 10am). To me it was
the perfect situation for us, as we didn´t need to pay for daycare as one of us
would always be home. On Thursday October 23, 2003, I went to work early at
noon to cover a shift for a coworker. At 1:15pm, I received a phone call while
at work that changed my life forever. Madilynn was 17 weeks old.
My neighbor who lived below us (apartments) called and said that the baby
stopped breathing. She said the firemen were there and got her to start.
I raced home to find paramedics and police and firemen. Madilynn was screaming
and Beau was holding her. I immediately took her in my arms and the paramedics
said that she was fine and to make an appointment with her pediatrician for the
next day. I told them no. This was not my baby. She was screaming and staring
up and to the side. She wouldn´t look at me. I knew something was wrong. They
took me and Madilynn in the ambulance to Rogue Valley Medical Center in Medford
Oregon. Beau Followed behind with the neighbor… Madilynn was given a head CT
and a bone scan. Her pediatrician came in and told Beau and I that she had
blood on her brain underneath her skull (subdural hematoma and she had two old
broken ribs that had healed. I was completely distraught and tried to think of
anything that could cause these things. I remembered she fell off couch when
she was 6 weeks old. I thought maybe just maybe that was how the ribs were
broken. I just didn´t know. I also remembered that morning she cried when
I was putting her clothes on. I thought maybe I had hurt her head then.
Eventually Madilynn was admitted to the pediatric ICU. She was still sedated and
had an IV. WE didn´t know what was going on. An Ophthalmologist came in and
looked at her eyes he said that she had a great deal of blood on her retinas
(retinal hemorrhages) and in his opinion she would probably never see again.
That is when I completely lost it. I had no idea what kind of weird illness my
daughter had that would cause her to bleed on her brain and in her eyes. Beau
started crying then too. It was the first time I ever saw him cry.
Shortly there after, two social workers and two detectives came in. The
detectives took Beau into another room to speak to him and the two social
workers from Child Protective Services stayed with me. I held Madilynn in my
arms and rocked her while they questioned me. They asked all sorts of questions
about Beau as I father and I just didn´t understand the point of it all.
Eventually I say thru the window, Beau being taken away by one of the
detectives. The other soon came and got me and told me Madilynn injuries (first
time I had heard the word injuries) were consistent with Shaken Baby Syndrome.
They then told me that Beau had admitted to Shaking Madilynn. I thought that my
world had stopped right there. Then it got worse. They explained that they would
have to investigate further to decide if when and if Madilynn was released from
the hospital if it would be to me. They had to find out if I had something to
do with her abuse. My husband was gone and my child was hospitalized and
I didn´t know if she would go home with me.
We spent four days in the hospital. We were told at first that we couldn´t
expect much. Her injuries were severe and 1 in 4 babies with these injuries
die. The rest, they said, had permanent disabilities. Each day her prognosis got
better. We knew she would survive. She seemed to be doing well. Her vision was
another story. They did an MRI and also took pictures of her retinas. Beau was
in jail on 1 million dollar bail. Originally charged with attempted murder,
after a grand jury met his charge was reduced to 2nd degree assault. That
carried a mandatory minimum in Oregon of over 5 years.
We were released from the hospital Sunday night. After some research CPS decided
that Madilynn could come home with me. The first few weeks were so full of
different doctor appointments (neurologist, Ear, Nose and Throat,
Ophthalmologist and of course her Ped) and appointments to get aid (WIC, AFS
(Adult and Family Services) that I didn´t have much time to think.
Madilynn got better and better. She had her development evaluated in February of
2004 by Early Childhood intervention. She passed with flying colors and was
even found to be ahead of other babies her age. She no longer needed to go to
the neurologist; her hearing was fine and did not need to see the ENT any more.
She continued to see the Ophthalmologist and the blood had drained some from her
eyes but not enough. She also continued to see her Pediatrician but only at the
regular well baby check ups.
Beau was sentenced in February of 2004. He received a 6 month boot camp
sentence. He would go to Prison until an opening came in the boot camp program.
And opening finally came in May. This entire time I had been pressuring him to
tell me what happened that day. To tell me what he was thinking and feeling that
day in October. Well in June of 04 I finally got that letter I had been
waiting on. He finally told me what happened. I still have the letter. I am
saving it for Madilynn when she gets older. I want her to know the truth about
her father. He got caught up in doing methamphetamines. He started doing Meth
without me knowing. I had no idea. I know that might sound naive, but I was
so caught up in my beautiful baby girl that I didn´t notice much of anything.
He wrote this in the letter - „When Maddy would cry I would hit her and tell
her to stop. I would grab her face“. The only thing I can think of right now
is that I resented her for making things change between us. He shook her
because he was mad at her because I wasn´t intimate with him enough. He was
addicted to drugs and was mad at her. At a 4 month old baby girl! That was it
for me. I stopped all communication with him. I moved on right then. I filed
for divorce shortly there after.
In my divorce I was granted full custody of Madilynn. Beau is not allowed to
see her until she is 18. I am working to terminate his parental rights."
Je to smutne, jde mi z toho vseho mraz po zadech, ale kdyby muj prispevek
pomohl treba jen jedinemu miminku, tak bude mit cenu.